


After 41

by jonesyslug



Category: Akira (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Forgive Me, Kei is dead, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 03:31:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonesyslug/pseuds/jonesyslug
Summary: Kai and Kaneda, with nothing left but each other, struggle through memories and long nights in the aftermath.





	1. Kaneda

He wakes up to the sound of himself screaming. 

His heart is pounding. The whole universe shifts around him as he opens his eyes and everything changes. Light floods in around him.

Everything comes to him all at once. His throat is raw, he's sweating. He balls up his hand in his shirt over his chest. His heart is pounding. 

He realizes what he was screaming. 

He breathes, slowly, deeply. He remembers what he was dreaming about. Lots of blood. Someone yelling his name. Kei. Yamagata. Kaori. Tetsuo.

Akira…

A glass of water appears in his field of vision.  
He looks up, and Kaisuke is standing over him. 

“You the one who turned on all the lights?” Kaneda asks with a dry chuckle, as he takes the glass of water. 

“I was trying to wake you gently.” Kai says, looking away. 

Kaneda can see the shine of a few tears streaking down his face, but decides not to mention it. 

He drinks the water in one long pull, then sits the glass on the floor. He pushes himself back so the wall can hold him up, and motions for Kai to sit next to him. 

Kai sits down but doesn't say anything. He just stares at his feet. Wiggling toes in bright red socks. 

“You keep saying his name in your sleep, Kaneda. Are you okay?” 

Kaneda looks at the pictures on Kai's side of the room. Family pictures. Pictures of the old gang. Pictures of Yamagata. 

Almost hidden between other pictures, there's one of Kai and Tetsuo together, smiling. It's been ripped apart and taped back together.

“You don't dream about it, too?” 

He shrugs. “But I don't wake up screaming.”


	2. Kaisuke

Kaisuke laughs wildly and it's swallowed by the wind whipping around him. 

 

He tightens his grip around Yamagata's waist and he can feel him laughing too. 

 

He's warm and happy here. 

 

It doesn't exist. 

 

Kai wakes up to the sound of his alarm beeping. He stares at the ceiling and lets it chirp uncomfortably at him for a moment, until Kaneda mumbles from the other side of the room and throws a pillow. 

 

Kai props himself up in his elbow and looks at him. He's covering his head with a blanket. Kai swipes his phone and turns the alarm off. He tosses the pillow gently back to Kaneda's Sid of the room. 

 

He breathes out through his nose and rolls over in bed. But now he's facing all his photos. All those facsimiles of Yamagata's face.

He shuts his eyes tight and tries to fall back asleep into that beautiful dream. Into the place where he can still be with Yamagata. The only place he can still feel him, and hear him breathing, and really look at him. 

 

His mind has so many memories to piece Yamagata back to life with. And that's all he really cares to do. 

 

Kaneda seems to be holding up so well but Kai knows it's too good to be true. That they're being strong for each other and falling into realms beyond their control in sleep. Falling into places they shouldn't go. 

 

Kai wants to stop thinking about Yama as bad as he wants him back. 

 

~~

 

Kaisuke sits, holding a stupid little toy he'd gotten from Yamagata's stuff when the school was packing it up to send off to his parents. The thing had probably meant nothing to Yama, but it was everything to Kai now. 

 

Kai held it in his palm, watching the light catches of the metallic blue of the toy. 

 

The door opened with a bang. 

 

“Kai, what are you doing with a fidget spinner?” Kaneda asked, kicking thr door shut and letting his things fall into the bed. 

 

“Nothing.” Kai said, quietly. 

 

“Isn't that for kids?” 

 

Kaisuke shrugged. “It makes me feel better.” 

 

“A'right.” Kaneda said, losing interest. He slumped onto his mattress and started reading a comic. 

 

Kai looked around and saw his sneakers at the end of the bed. He grabbed one and took the lace out. 

 

He turned the fidget spinner over in his hands a few more times, memorizing the weight, then pulled the shoe laces through one of the holes. He tied it around his neck. 

 

He spared a glance at Kaneda, who hadn't looked up. 

 

Embarrassed, Kaisuke tucked his new necklace into his shirt. 

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao don't get onto me for starting the sequel before I finished the first one I just have a lot of emotions


End file.
